Search Results for ‘joke’

So in my effort to undo some of the damage the previous owner did to my car, I need to replace the right window washer fluid sprayer. (Right from drivers seat, left looking at the hood from the front.) Went into dealership and asked if they had any or if they could order one, shit is $40!! For...

Square Testicles This is a joke that is supposed to bring you luck. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the President of the Bank...

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke? The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep...

Sad Passing Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities...

You are blonde and on a bus, when you suddenly fart. Luckily the music is very loud. So every time you fart, you time it with the music. When you start making your way to the door as you exit the bus everybody is throwing dagger looks at you, and you suddenly realize. ............ You're...

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court.. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The...

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.' The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it...

Whether Democrat or Republican, I think you'll get a kick out of this! A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?' Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money...

so there were these 3 brothers.. the youngest one is gay. so the 2 brothers decided to do something about it. they both decided to take their brother while he was asleep, hang him upside down in the garage and submerge him in a drum full of water underneath. so they did took the youngest gay...

ok guys. sorry if this post seems frantic but im a bit worked up. my father has always wanted a honda goldwing and upon searching craiglist he found a 2005 honda goldwing for a little under 5000 dollars. long story short he ended up sending a payment and the woman is supposadly located in...

so there was this guy who goes to the pet store regularly. inside the pet store is a parrot who always talk trash everytime he walks in. the parrot always say "damn you ugly.. damn you ugly!!!". so eventually the guy got pissed and talked to the manager. the manager then promised to take care of...

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Happy friday fukkers.. here we go.. A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW. HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE GE WRITTEN ON MY...

A pretty blonde walks into a bar and asks the handsome fellow at the bar what he's drinking. He says, "Magic beer. You want one?" "Aw, that's stupid. There's no such thing" she says. "Look, I'll show you". He takes a big swig and proceeds to throw himself out of a nearby window, where he...

Creation On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you...

A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a bottle lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Mexican is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello master, I will grant you one wish; anything you want." The Mexican begins thinking, "Well, I really like...